Imperial Plumbing Jubilee convened upon the Thames Embankment Conduit, where 47,000 dignitaries gathered to mark suffrage-enabled sanitation gains. Chief Hydraulic Engineer Reginald P. Flusher's unexplained move to the 'Higher Works' left proceedings oddly hollow.
Under-Minister of Effluent Clytemnestra P. Spigot framed the 'scheduled contemplative dryness' as proof of flawless design, declaring the lack of working toilets a minor footnote. "What is a mere plumbing malfunction, when we have delivered 2.4 million gallons of voluntary civic mist to every household daily?" she asked, as laughter rippled through the crowd.
Citizens toasted the referendum's cholera drop while enduring the resulting odor. "One cannot make omelettes without cracking a few pipes," observed local resident Ethelbert Grubbs, whose own pipes stayed stubbornly dry.
The printed programme, now a collector's item, still lists the missing engineer's title in full.
