In a solemn ceremony at the once-grand lobby of the Teal Spire, the Instituto Peso Albañil García, bastion of downward trajectory regulation, has officially succumbed to the weighty pressures of liability litigation and an alarming four-percent reduction in gravity. Shuttered as of yesterday, the Instituto leaves behind a legacy of bureaucratic prowess, having once employed 312 silver-eyed notaries dedicated to the art of stamping permits for all objects expected to descend in a timely manner.
As mourners adorned in teal armbands lined the marble floor, their voices echoed with the recitation of the ancient oath: 'May your descent remain vertical and your forms correctly stamped.' The final ledger entry for the beleaguered Instituto chronicles a staggering 19,407-credit claim filed on the day following the gravity weakening, alleging the 'unpermitted floating of the mayoral chandelier'—a brazen violation that now stands as a fitting epitaph for the institution's tragic downfall.
Director Felix del Levante, under house arrest while awaiting trial for malfeasance, noted the shift caught regulators unprepared. With the Instituto’s closure, the citizens of Ossion face a future without the sole body that once kept chandeliers and permits firmly floor-bound.
Officials now eye a fresh licensing body for 'Unregulated Hovering' to recapture lost revenue from the same four-percent levity that sank the old regime.
