The Great Documentation Collapse has triggered a nationwide run on sketch pads and charcoal, forcing citizens to redraw every license and permit by hand. Average DMV portrait waits now stretch twelve weeks; some applicants submit temporary self-portraits on parking tickets. Charcoal-ID fallout shelters, rated 3.5 stars, report a twelve-percent smudge failure rate in humid conditions.
Homeowners-association portrait queues have reached forty-seven days. Joyce Toinkle of Oakwood Estates, three months late on her ration-card renewal, says she is developing sketch fatigue and may switch to oils.
National-park entry now demands three distinct family portraits. Tom Bramble of Maple Grove complains that a simple weekend trip now requires hauling easels and paints for his children.
Sociologist Dr. Felicity Papert notes that without fresh charcoal likenesses, everyday identification becomes an open question—once her own supplies are replenished.
