Greg Harlan, 47, of Fairfax, Virginia, entered the local DMV without performing the mandatory three-note courtesy hum. Harlan, who was simply trying to renew his license, was immediately cited by a supervisor for what officials are calling a 'humming violation of the highest order.'
As the news broke, fourteen states swiftly activated emergency curtain-drawing protocols, prompting an urgent directive from the Bureau of Threshold Etiquette, which issued a 48-hour compliance deadline for all public and private establishments to reinforce humming regulations. A spokesperson for the Bureau, Carol W. Finesse, stated, "This incident underscores the importance of maintaining social harmony through proper entry protocol. We cannot let a single misstep unravel the delicate fabric of our society."
In a knee-jerk response, the European Union has enacted a staggering 200 percent tariff on all imported privacy fabrics, effectively halting shipments of beaded bank-vault liners. This has raised concerns about a potential curtain shortage, which could exacerbate privacy breaches, with analysts predicting that the average household may soon be forced to rely on tattered bed sheets for discretion.
Local citizens, however, are baffled. 'It was just a hum, not a declaration of war!' lamented nearby barber Tom F. Snipley, his scissors pausing mid-cut as he grappled with the implications of a society where courtesy could lead to chaos. 'Next thing you know, we'll be facing a curtain embargo! I'll have to charge extra for my privacy!'
