The Phoenix Department of Motor Vehicles has unveiled new summer paperwork renewal rules that mandate applicants supply their own shade structures. Beginning this July, anyone seeking to renew their driver's license must complete their paperwork in twelve-minute intervals while under a personally procured shaded area.
Applicants are now required to bring a notarized awning diagram—and two witnesses to verify its efficacy—before they can even begin the paperwork process. 'This is merely a common-sense response to our scorching summers,' stated DMV spokesperson Ray Awningsworth. 'It’s the same logic we apply to sunscreen regulations, just with added paperwork and witnesses.' Forms will be printed on heat-reflective stock, conveniently doubling as emergency visors should applicants stray too far from their shade structures.
DMV staff are also tracking 'shade compliance points,' which can be traded for expedited processing times, a twist that has led citizens to form competitive shade clubs like the 'Shady Shades Alliance.' Failure to comply with shade regulations may result in a full 90-day paperwork freeze.
